We recently cancelled our cable T.V. subscription, and now get a wide variety of local stations with our rabbit ears antenna. Our favorite, “Grit”, features old westerns and lots of infomercials. We love the westerns, the infomercials not so much, but have found them to be exceedingly funny.
“Hurry!” my husband called from down the hall. “They’re selling a flashlight that works even when it’s frozen in a block of ice. I bought two!”
Thankfully he was kidding, about the purchase, but not the product.
Remember Al Borland form the 90’s sitcom Tool Time? He’s hawking a hose that magically rewinds itself when not in use. Not only that but it won’t break, even when stretched between two large pickups pulling in the opposite direction!
There’s a cooler that folds down into a compact, easily portable form. In fact it’s so lightweight that Grandma is shown dancing with one of these in each hand. Trucks are also featured here. This cooler won’t break even when RUN OVER by a large pickup.
Then there’s a handy-dandy egg cooker which makes the perfect hard-boiled egg. So easy, “Just Crack, Boil and Pop”. I was actually kind of tempted by this one, until I realized that I can already make the perfect hard-boiled egg with a pot of boiling water, which is free.
Don’t forget the copper thing you lay on your barbecue to keep your grill from getting dirty. It also comes with a handy Flip and Grip spatula which is free except for a separate shipping fee. Watch out for those shipping fees.
You can also purchase this amazingly awesome glue, which will patch the giant hole you cut in the bottom of your boat. There’s an atomic lighter, dancing Tiki lights and the same sunglasses used by fighter pilots and super heroes.
But my personal favorite, the funniest, the craziest of them all, is Trumpy Bear! Honestly, I’m not even sure I can do this one justice. Trumpy is a cute little teddy bear with a patriotic tie and a wild thatch of bleach blond hair. Not only that, but when you unzip the secret compartment in his back you find an American flag style blanket.
As we watched with increasing alarm, several tough looking customers – a construction worker, an ex-marine biker, and variety of first responders appeared on the screen, each bearing testimony that they would never go anywhere without their Trumpy bear. (The ex-marine is shown gravely attaching Trumpy to the windshield of his motorcycle.)
We thought Trumpy was a joke at first, but two payments of $19.99 plus shipping and handling charges are no laughing matter. Honestly, did we really need this product? I know I didn’t, but I told my son about it and now he’s getting me one for Christmas. Ha-ha. Very funny.
In the meantime, my husband and I will continue to watch old westerns and save money on our cable T.V. bill. And I will keep you posted on the latest and the greatest of the infomercial world. By the way, I was out in the garden this morning trying to water my plants with a tangled hose. If you’re still there Tool-Time-Al, I think I’ll order two.