I am a voice in the wilderness, a lone tree falling in the forest, a distant bell tolling in the wind, the sound of one hand clapping – oh, sorry, I got a little carried away. What I meant to say is this: I am one of the few people I know who will admit to liking airplane food. There I said it.
Just look at that picture. What’s not to like? I wish the food that came out of my kitchen looked half as good. To be perfectly honest, since my kids are mostly gone, I rarely even cook anymore and if someone wants to hand me a plate of attractively presented, yummy, hot food, that’s usually O.K. by me.
But on our last plane excursion there was a bit of a hitch.
My husband and I were travelling to Norway, and it was approximately Three A.M. my time – heaven only knows what time it was by the airplane clock, but it was dark and everyone else was asleep. Since I have yet to master the art of sleeping on a plane, I’d been sitting for hours, reading, knitting, and doing crossword puzzles until my eyeballs were fried. Out of the darkness loomed a stewardess who handed me a tray, presumably breakfast, and I mindlessly began to consume the pocket bread sandwich thing which was offered. As I slowly came to my senses, I turned to my husband who was looking at me.
“What is this?” he said, mid chew.
I consider what I’m swallowing. “I don’t know.” I scrabble through the litter on the floor and come up with the wrapper. “It says, Cheese Salad – shredded cheese mixed with mayonnaise and onions.”
We exchange a dubious look and threw away the remains of our sandwiches. Have you ever eaten something where the taste just won’t go away, no matter how much gum you chew? This was one of those times.
After disembarking and meeting up with our friends who were also on the flight, we began to compare notes.
“Did you eat that sandwich thing they brought us?” said my friend.
“Kind of,” I replied ” It was gross.”
“I know, cheese salad. Eeeew.”
I still like airplane food but, wiser now, I carefully examine all offerings before eating. Cheese salad, it’s out there. Beware.